If only everyone thought and felt what we wanted them to, wouldn’t that make life easier? Well, perhaps easier, but not necessarily more fulfilling. We cannot control any other person’s behaviour. Even while it seems to us that someone else is acting irrationally, or being inconsiderate, they are behaving from their reality, based on the feelings they are experiencing – feelings which are real to them. As much as we may want and try to convince them to feel the way we think they ‘should’ feel, and rationally understand our reality, they only have their own reality (…we all have different realities), It is impossible to alter another person’s reality. Our feelings are incapable of lying. And everyone else’s feelings are incapable of lying.
We all have feelings. Feelings are truthful to the way we think…like it or not. To dismiss or discount another’s feelings is counter-productive, and almost always agitates a situation. Do not tell anyone else what you want them to think or feel. If the other person is hurting or angry or scared, anxious, and so on, they may not be able to hear your reality until their emotions are less heightened, and will not be able to process anything you say until they are in a less excited state. When this is the case, consider just listening to them for the moment, and talking at a later point. Give them a chance to cycle through their emotions, even if you don’t understand their reality. This sort of compassion can be effective, not only to solidify your support but also to help ensure that your perspective is heard (even if it’s not at the exact time that you want it to be heard). Your compassion, allows you to understand that the person causing you discomfort is probably experiencing something that is troubling them. To express compassion for someone who is causing you angst, Stop. Take a breath. Listen to the other person. Listening a little more carefully will stop a lot of futile judging and attempts at convincing the other person to feel the way we think they ‘should’.
When we see from our limited vision, we come upon restrictions and limitations and live in a state of survival which is where we feel stuck. However, we can move to the open and expansive state of our higher consciousness.
Everything that is, is, was, and will be. Things do not pass away in time. Every moment remains. Yet, nothing is certain. No past event is in existence. Its only record exists in our neural creases. The world (our waking consciousness) is malleable, infinitely changeable. Not only are we capable of changing the present, but also the past. It’s not just one possible way that an object is behaving. Infinite possibilities exist.
You can consciously, deliberately and permanently change your beliefs to free yourself from the limitations of a ‘tribal belief system’.
The primary addiction for all human beings is the addiction to our way of thinking. Which, while we accept as normal, our lack of awareness is the underlying cause of much of our struggle, relationship issues, anger, resentment, despair, and addictions.
The way towards healing and wholeness is through non-judgmental self-observation – laying bare our habitual thought patterns that lead to acting out behaviour. To remove our limitations, namely, the ensnarement by our thoughts and emotions, or the body-mind, begins with awareness: the position of gentle attentiveness that we need to cultivate for a contemplative life.
Start by becoming conscious of who you are listening to. Are you listening to people who are living from their limited vision, or from visions of a more sacred life? Pay attention, and your consciousness will begin to shift immediately.
As you master your inner game, which, as you get older… wiser… you learn to keep your mind on what really matters, which is your work in the world, your purpose for being, you move up and out of the funnel of limitation permanently. Once you know this, there is only this, here, now. This is it! Without comparison. How it is, is how it is. It becomes immediately obvious how perfect it is. There is only one of everything, and nothing to compare that one to, which makes every single thing in the universe the very best. This includes you and me. Isn’t that the best?
With blessings and namaste,