MINDSET

MINDSET

When we realise that there’s a big gap between our potential and what we do with it, and examine why we don’t live up to our potential, we come upon our limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, or some malevolent ‘ego’ that seems to have it in for you. and wonder if overriding them, or getting rid of them will kill it.

Getting caught up in negativity does not help.

However, our limiting beliefs and negativity are a symptom of something much more fundamental. The real culprit is a basic mind frame that’s at the root of, and actually informs these thoughts and beliefs. This mind frame is so essential, it either propels us toward our goals or prevents us from ever fulfilling our potential.

When the problem is a Fixed Mindset

A ‘fixed mindset’ assumes that our qualities, character traits, and creative abilities are given, immutable, and just the way we are. Furthermore, they are carved in stone, are how we were made and there is no way to change them in a meaningful way.

However, if you believe your traits and qualities are unchangeable, then you’re stuck with the cards you were dealt in life. End of story. All you can do is throw your hands up in the air, and surrender to the dictates of destiny. And this becomes a tremendous liability because now all your imperfections are shameful, you constantly need to prove your worth, and negative experiences are just devastating.

For instance, a rejection letter, a disappointing progress review at work, an argument in your relationship, or any setback, can totally derail you. You are likely to see them as evidence that indeed you do not have ‘the right stuff’ and are ‘just not good enough.’ Which all serves as ‘proof’ that you’re doomed to settle for the way things are.

From this fixed frame of mind, no matter what you do to try to make things better, nothing ever seems to help, or succeed.

You can read all the self-help and success books and courses, maybe even recite all those affirmations from the millionaire mind secrets and universal laws verbatim, but it will not make a bit of difference, because deep down, your fundamentally ‘fixed’ frame of mind does not allow you to integrate them and live their reality consistently. So, while you may dip your toes in the water to see what happens when things don’t change fast enough, you’re on to “See, I knew it!”

When your whole complexion sub communicates doubt and uncertainty, more reason for doubt and uncertainty is exactly what you pick up from what life gives you in return

The Growth Mindset

Fortunately, there’s an alternative. The solution is a growth mindset. And the good news is that it is simple to shift.

A growth mindset recognises that all of life is in constant flux, continually in motion, never standing still. It says that you, your qualities, your character traits, your creative abilities, your relationships, your current reality, everything – are all a moving process, which can be developed… and cultivated.

This changes everything. Whatever hand of cards you were dealt in life, is just your starting point. However, with a growth mindset, failure and setbacks may still be painful, nevertheless, they are not all-defining,  but just springboards to the next step. The way things happen to be right now no longer has a tyrannical grip on you because now there’s an actual path into the future.

And when you align yourself with that idea, you begin to truly transform, and new thoughts, beliefs, and habits actually start to stick.

With your growth mindset, rather than avoiding challenges, you embrace them. Avoiding your triggers is not healing. Healing happens when you are triggered and you are able to move through the pain, the pattern, and the story, and walk your way to a different ending.

Instead of giving up easily, you keep moving even in the face of setbacks.

Instead of feeling threatened by the success of others, you find lessons and inspiration in their achievements.

Rather than ignoring useful (negative) feedback, you filter useful insights from it.

Rather than plateauing early and achieving less than your potential, you keep making consistent progress, little by little, but gradually building up to bigger and bigger leaps.

Rather than seeing some miracle rescue as your only possible escape, you take full responsibility for setting the wheels in motion in your life, from where life in turn can begin to respond.

Not only does this get your world moving and flowing, but what’s more is, that your existing thoughts and beliefs no longer even matter. They will shift as a matter of course, by mere virtue of adopting this basic mindset.

Is your soul blossoming or withering? Be who you are. Do what you love. Stay close to anything that makes you glad that you are alive. Stop looking for your soulmate, and start looking for your soul, mate. The only way to be unsuccessful is to stop growing as a human being, to no longer reach for something that inspires and excites you, and to quit moving.

The Shift

So the thing you need to learn is how to instigate a shift in your mind frame:

Here are 3 simple steps.

1. It starts with Mindfulness
   Be mindful of fixed mindset triggers. Listed below are some indicators of a fixed mindset.

• When you face a challenge or setback, check in with yourself:
  – Do you feel overly anxious?
  – Does a voice in your head warn you away?
  – Do you feel incompetent, or defeated?
  – Do you look for an excuse?
• When you face criticism:
  – Do you become defensive?
  – Do you feel crushed?
  – Do you react with anger?
  – Do you feel insulted?
• When you see someone else who is better than you at something you value:
  – Do you feel threatened?
  – Do you feel envious?
  – Do you feel judgmental?
  – Do you feel like ‘it’s no use even trying?

2. Re-Frame for change 

From there, here’s what you do next. Remind yourself that all of life is in a state of constant flux, continually in motion, never standing still. You can make changes. You are entitled to realign your priorities with your values. You are allowed to want something different. So, to align with this understanding:

•  In the face of a challenge or a setback, ask yourself:
  – What can I learn from this to grow, and what can I do next to move even just one millimetre forward?
• In the face of criticism, ask yourself:
  – What truth is embedded in this feedback, and what can I learn from it?
• In the face of others’ success, first and foremost:
  – Bless their achievement (for example: Good for you!… and mean it). And then ask yourself:
  – What lessons and inspiration can I derive and embody from seeing this real-world evidence of abundance and accomplishment?

3. Embrace the Power of “Not Yet”

The words “not yet” imply room for growth and that there is something fresh and new still a-coming.

So use them to keep yourself out of a locked and fixed frame of mind, and to stay in that perspective of continuous growth and progress:

• You may not be where you want to be, YET…
• but you are on your way, and you are getting closer with every breath you take.

Put this to work. It can really make all the difference. You have my full permission to be awesome, brilliant, and amazing. Life can’t wait to celebrate with you!

And from there:

If you want to pick up the pace and actually influence the cards life deals you with, then here is a supportive process that can help you with that.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

Weekend residential retreat

17-19 February 2023

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